Thursday, August 30, 2012

First Complete Week.....

Yea, so my first week of school is done. Thursday to Thursday, done today. Can I tell you something? You know how I used to think I was busy. Running here and there, kids everywhere, blah blah blah. I have NEVER been busy in my whole life. Never. Now, I am BUSY! I start my day at 6am (which Mike says is a normal starting time for the majority of the population. Who knew?!), clothes to iron, breakfast for all, lunches to be made, you get it. Crazy morning, I am also told that lots of people do this too. Night before, back packs (now 3 of them) to get ready. Pre-pack any food that can be. Decide if I really care if my t-shirt is wrinkled, do 18 year olds notice that kind of crap? I doubt it, so I skip the ironing part, just once, I can't stand it otherwise. Kids take showers and by 8:45 after I put them to bed at 8:30, I am ready to fall into bed myself. I have always been a stay up late kind of gal. Watch some tv, read a book or magazine, you know the drill. Sometime between 11-midnight I doze off. Wake up to take the kids to school, but grab a nap if I needed one, whatever, nothing ever extreme waiting on me most days. I was not then nor have I ever been lazy, just no pressing issues, no "job" outside of here. And I thought I was busy. Boy, what I would give for one of those "busy" days. Ha! Please don't misunderstand me. I am NOT complaining. In fact, the very opposite. All this in the past week as brought some things to my attention. One, the weekend is a WONDERFUL thing and no where near long enough. Who's in charge of that anyway? We need to discuss. My husband, all these years, just wanted to come home at the end of the day and sit in his chair with a glass of sweet tea. He didn't want to go out to dinner, he didn't want to run to Wal-Mart or the mall. He wanted to SIT in a chair and relax and rest. Big "A HA" moment for me.... I get it! I understand the need, the pull, the force that draws you to a seat on the couch. So we have this closeness now, this new found respect has been born for my husband. A man needs a chair and nothing to do. The other thing, all my errands use to span the time frame of 830a-230p. That seemed like a good amount of time. Some days it seemed rushed, but now, my time span? 12:00p-2:30p, that's it. I am learning the fine art of prioritizing and afternoon doctor's appointments. It's a learning curve. All of it. Sitting in class, answering questions out loud. Hoping you'll say the right one. But the feeling of knowing that really, no one cares if you get it right. Secretly you envy the brave person who decided to speak out loud and give it a shot. That feeling when you sit down, surrounded by strangers and know that you are all there with a common goal. You are all choosing this path. To make yourselves better. There is a comfort in that. It's an experience. Homework, teachers, the thought of mid-terms and finals. All of it, it can be overwhelming. I am afraid I am missing something. The kids are going to need me and I won't be able to do it. Mike will want me to help with something and I won't be able to. I will miss an awards assembly or a field trip. I have never missed those things. But isn't it worth it? Yes, I can say with absolute unwavering certainty, that yes it is. I want my boys to know how important this is. And I want them to know it's ok to just sit in a chair sometimes with NO plans.

1 comment:

Doris said...

Well Said busy girl. Well said.